why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
