So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
