I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
