why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
