I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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