she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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