If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
