Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
