can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
