I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
