I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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