well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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