Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
