I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
