i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
