Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
