May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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