benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
