His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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