Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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