I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
