My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
