All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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