My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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