I'm really into asian looking animals
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
