i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
where am i from again
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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