I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
