remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
