Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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