I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
