Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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