Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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