I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
