I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
