I just saw a hot homeless man
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
