somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
