i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
