3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The air taste purple.
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