Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Barsexuality is the new black.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i need some magic done to my vagina
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
