Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
