just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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