I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
