my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
