so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
