the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She's not a foreskin expert like you
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
