The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
