I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
