I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Someone came in the potted fern
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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