i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
