Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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