I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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