nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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