It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't deserve a penis
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
