Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
