Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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