how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
smell my finger.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
